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All jokes submitted by Kevin Catalfo
Very interesting word facts...
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it,
think about how things used to be.
Facts about the 1500's
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were
starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men,
then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the
dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would
slip and fall off the roof.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floors were dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep
their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside.
A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway to hold it back.
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things
to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot
to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Sometimes they could obtain port, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to
show off. It was s sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests
and would all sit around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing
lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top,
or "upper crust".
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking
along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They
were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones
to a bone-house and ruse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside
and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse,
lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night
(the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."